


Tag, you're it

by iamemotrashdotcom



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Song fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-04
Updated: 2019-05-05
Packaged: 2020-01-04 18:35:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18349373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iamemotrashdotcom/pseuds/iamemotrashdotcom
Summary: Slightly based off of Tag, you're it by Melanie Martinez.Phil is looking for new work. He stumbles across a small music shop on the other side of town. When he walks inside he is immediately greeted with brown eyes that you could get lost in. He decides that yes, this is where he wants to work, and he will stop at nothing to see Mr. Brown-eyes everyday.Dan is bored. Bore of work, bored of life, bored of talking with his only friend, Emily. He needs a change, and his wish is granted one day when Blue-eyes walks into his store.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my *first fanfiction*. Or at least the first that I'm proud of. Hopefully I'll update every week, but I've been told not promise something you can't keep.

Dan woke up early Saturday morning with his head pounding. What did he get himself into last night? Everything happened too quickly. One minute he was home, mindlessly scrolling through tumblr. The next he was taking shots with strangers. He racked his brain for answers; eventually coming up with the memory of him being dragged out of bed to console Emily: a crying friend in a bar across the street from his flat.

Dan hadn't known Emily for long. Close to a year. He met her at work after knocking over a stack of records that he considered to be a tripping hazard anyway, but their boss had different opinions. Emily was sent to help him, and they've practically been inseparable ever since. 

This morning Dan can't remember why Emily was crying. He can't remember what convinced him to get so drunk that he craved to vomit his guts out this morning. He can't even remember how he got here. What even is here? He turned over onto his right shoulder and, 

Shit.

Derek Romone. Must've followed him home from the bar. Would be pretty easy thing to do considering they live in the same building. For being a pretty gorgeous guy, Derek was completely dense. Long blond hair, dull brown eyes, and an eyebrow bar that totally worked for him, and yet this guy in Dan's book was dumber than a stack of bricks.

And here Dan was. In his bed.

Dan had dated girls, dated guys, and surely gained experience throughout the years, but one night stands was not something he was comfortable with. Especially if that one night stand was with Derek Romone. He carefully climbed out of bed, not waking Derek, and checked the time while finding his clothes.

7:08 AM. Great. One hour to get to work.

He had to admit, the white aesthetic of Derek's bedroom was stunning, but now he really couldn't be bothered by aesthetic when he didn't know where his underwear was. He felt too exposed.  
After what felt like ages, he spotted his pants hooked on the neck of a half empty whiskey bottle. He cursed under his breath.

He quickly and quietly put on the rest of his clothing that was gathered in a pile by the bed frame. He decided that as stupid as Derek was, it was best not to wake him. Dan had enough cringe to last him at the very least a few months. He couldn't stand the idea of words trying to form from either one of their mouths that would remind him any more of last night. 

He wasn't going to be a dick, so he found something to write on and with, and left a note on the bedside table. Saying that he had to get going, and he was grateful for a drinking buddy the previous night. A little white lie never hurts.

Dan found his way through the apartment, and made the walk of shame downstairs to his own flat. His cheeks burned with embarrassment. It wasn't like this was his first time in the one nighter department, but it still felt worse every time. Maybe it was a little different with Derek. They are neighbors after all. Perhaps that just makes it even more awkward. He pushed his thoughts aside unlocking the door, and checked the time again.

7:14 AM. That left him with approximately 46 minutes to fix himself up, and get to work on time. Wonderful.

Dan loves his job. He works in a tiny shop a few blocks away. It's a cute little place. A vintage music store hidden away by the hustle and bustle of London. They don't get much business, but it's enough to pay rent and keep food on the table. Or more rather, in the lounge, considering Dan doesn't leave his browsing position. 

He goes to get something to eat. Mostly to take his mind off of where he just was, and less because of the fact that he's hungry. It doesn't take very long to prepare and consume a couple pieces of toast before he finds his way to the bathroom to shower.   
He rids any and all thoughts he has right now. He can't afford to get hung up on something so unnecessary. 

The shower is over within a heartbeat. Too quickly for Dan to consider himself happy. He makes his way to his bedroom to get dressed. Much like the opposite aesthetic of Derek's room, Dan's is dark and much more inviting, surprisingly. He supposes he lives similar to a vampire. Cooped up in a dark room all day. Awake nearly all hours of the night. You could hardly tell any difference.

He pulls on his favorite pair of black jeans, and a dark colored jumper due to the rain outside. A bonus to working a small store meant he had no uniform. 

“Just a nametag and a smile!” Is what he was told when he asked Jodi, his manager. 

He picked out a pair of shoes, black with a white trim, and headed back to the bathroom to brush his teeth. Which he nearly forgot about. Once done, he grabs his coat, marking off a mental checklist of the things he needs. Phone, wallet, keys, nametag. He glances at the large mirror near the door before he leaves. Brown curls askew on top of his head, and he looks rather tired, but there's no time to go about it now.

Locking the door behind him, Dan feels as though he could die at the thought of taking the stairs. Not that he has much of a choice. What kind of apartment building doesn't have an elevator these days? Taking a lift down would be much less time consuming, and maybe he would get to work on time for once.

Down on ground level, he once again curses himself for not owning an umbrella. This makes him tug is hood over his hair, as well as his eyes, causing temporary blindness. Fixing his hood so he can see, he brings himself to the door, and outside into the cold, crisp, Autumn weather.

Dan is finding it hard to ignore the rain plummeting down on him. It doesn't take very long to walk to work, although he's wishing he could get there faster with every wet step. When he woke up, the rain was only coming down lightly, however with every growing puddle and the sky becoming darker, this couldn't be good on Dan's behalf. Hearing thunder in the distance is what finally made him start speed walking. In five horrendous minutes he would be at work.

He walked up to the front doors of The Sing. A small brick building that looked as though it belonged on the cover of a hipster magazine. It was also so old it was bound to collapse any day now. The name alone gave him a cringe attack everyday, but it was worth it to see Emily. As well as get paid. He could suffer past the crappy name choices in order to enjoy Domino's every once and awhile. 

He could already see Emily's waist length, brunette hair through the expanded window. Feeling a little better, he made his way through the door and to the wide counter. 

“Well it's about time, Daniel. What held you up?” Emily's light green eyes glanced in Dan's direction. 

“I woke up late.” Dan wasn't in much of a mood to explain why he got to work later than usual. 

“Oh really?” Emily grinned. “You didn't run into anyone?” She was now by Dan's side, as he clocked in for the day, hanging up his coat.

Dan wasn't sure what to make of that. Did he bump into an old friend last night? He can't remember much of anything. Maybe it was, oh. Wait. Derek. Emily saw Dan go home with Derek. Shit.

“Nope, I have no idea what you're talking about, Em.” 

“Really, Dan? You're going to play this game?” He thought to himself.

“Dan, please. I've seen the way you look at him. It was only a matter of time.” Emily had her elbow on the counter now; cheek on her hand.

Dan turned to face her properly. “It was a mistake, is what it was. Em, I really don't feel like talking about it. I feel like absolute shit.” He crossed his arms, leaning on them over the counter. 

Emily placed her hand on his. “Well I'm here for you, love. I'm sorry that it didn't work out.”

This made Dan chuckle. “didn't work out” was an understatement.

At this precise moment they were interrupted by their first customer of the day. A man. Tall with black hair. 

“Damn.” Dan's mind was racing. However, the only word he could produce both physically and in thought, was again,

“Damn.” Dan unintentionally spoke aloud. Emily smacked his arm.

“You can curse all you want, just not around customers! Jodi will have your throat!” Emily hissed. 

“Fuck Jodi. Em, do you see him?” Dan hissed back. Clearly in awe of his stunning form.

They watched the man turn between shelves to browse at their stock. They held instruments along the right wall, shelves of records of new and old hung on the left across from the window. There sat on the floor, were rotating wire based CD towers. They watched him circle around one of the four CD towers, looking as though he was making his mind up. 

Dan turned to look up at Emily, who had focused her attention on the stereo underneath the countertop. 

“What are you doing?” Dan asked impatiently.

Emily rolled her eyes. “Stopping you from a rebound!”

“Emily, stop. I've told you before that he's not my type.” 

Derek was somehow the leading topic still.

She spun around. “I don't believe that for a second, Mr. I Left My Best Friend At The Bar Last Night To Get It On With A Hot Gay!” 

Dan felt lost for words. She really had to bring it up now? At work? Especially in front of a guy much hotter than Derek could ever be in a thousand years? Hell no.

“Em. Please. Believe me, I don't like him that way. I barely remember anything that happened after you calmed down!” Dan bent forward and kept his voice in a whisper. There's a good chance that the stranger across the room heard what Emily said, and he couldn't bare feeling anymore humiliation.

“Excuse me,” A voice from in front of them startled them both. Apparently the stranger was much closer than they thought.

“We'll talk about it later, then.” Emily stood up straight, and walked to the frosted door directly behind her. The back room. 

Dan dragged his eyes away from Emily, and turned his attention to the person in front of him. He put on his best “I'm in a good mood” face, and proceeded.

“What can I help you with?” He asked too robotically. Although it wasn't his fault, per se. This man was just too beautiful for Dan to function normally. 

Dan's ears just barely picked up the song from the stereo.

“Damn it, Emily.” He thought.

“Er, I'd like to purchase these two.” The man placed two CDs on the countertop. Dan took them from him, taking the opportunity to notice the strangers eyes. 

“Holy shit.” Dan stated in his head. 

The man's eyes were deeper than the ocean. So full of life and purpose. Something Dan wasn't sure he had anymore. Purpose. Something so clearly mapped out in these irises. 

He rang up the CDs without much thought. 

“Nice music choice.” Dan gestured. Panic! At The Disco and Muse. Now this was something they had in common. Music. “Do you collect?” He asked, hoping he wasn't coming off as too pushy. 

“A bit. Mostly recent. And you?” Blue-eyes seemed a tad more relaxed than Dan did.

“Nah, not really. More of an iTunes guy.” 

“iTunes? Really? With someone like you working here I'd expect the opposite.” Blue-eyes acted taken aback. Sure Dan worked here, but he felt too attached to his phone to go back to CDs. It was just more convenient to use an app.

“Yeah, these take up a lot of space after a while. Besides, with technology nowadays there's no reason to own CDs.” Dan grinned a little; hoping to show himself as more friendly. 

“Alright, well, that brings your total to £7.50 .” There was no way Dan was ready to give up conversation, but unfortunately he was at work. No flirting with the customers was another one of Jodi's rules. Unless they flirt with you, first, was Emily's exception to this rule. Which Dan also followed. 

They made the exchange, and after brief silence, Blue-eyes started to leave much to Dan's dismay.

“I'll see you around, Daniel.” Blue-eyes waved and left the shop. Letting a cold breeze in when the door opened.

Thanks to Dan's nametag, the stranger knew his name. Dan wasn't sure if he'd ever know his, though. He couldn't help but mentally kick himself for not getting Blue-eyes’ number. 

~~~

The rest of the day went slowly. People came in and out of the shop and had various questions, but Dan couldn't get Blue-eyes out of his mind. 

He was gorgeous.

Emily asked him earlier why he was pouting, but his non-response didn't matter. She knew, and was only there to pester him for it.

Eventually it was the end of Dan's shift. He gathered his things, and clocked out. 

“Night, Em! I'm headed!” He called from the door. 

“Night, Dan! Walk safe!” Emily called back from somewhere in the store. 

Dan stepped outside and checked his phone for the time. 

8:45 PM. Absolutely perfect. 

The lyrics from the song playing on Emily's playlist rang through his ears. It was just right for how he felt at the moment. Not to mention that it captured the weather well. Before putting his phone away, he dug out his earbuds from his pocket, and plugged them in. 

Doing this while walking was a challenge, but nonetheless, he was able to pull up Swimming by Florence + The Machine.

On his way home, he imagined nothing but how his thoughts had been swimming in blue eyes.


	2. two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was later than intended. I'll post again next week, but I'm not sure what day. If I haven't posted again by Saturday/Sunday, then get on tumblr and bug me about it.

 Phil couldn't sleep. He tried everything that came to mind. Possibly making it even more difficult by overthinking.

He kept thinking about his trip to the music store. He remembers the feeling as soon as he entered the building. He couldn't help but fall in love with the chilling atmosphere. He had already filled out an application the very minute he got home; anxious to spend more time there.

Phil has always loved music. He loves the way it floods his brain and takes over every feeling in his body. Ever since he was a teenager he had a weird obsession with the idea of owning a record collection. The black vinyl fascinated him in a way he really didn't understand. He still hasn't started that collection, but he supposes it's just a matter of time. Especially now that he's found just the place to encourage his weirdness.

This wasn't the only thing keeping him awake, however. His memories drifted to the boy working at the music shop. Possibly younger than him, he thought at the time, but ever so stunning. He kept to his own business. Trying not to look too caught up in the curious employee. As he made his way through the store, he thought he could make out an argument coming from the coworkers. He wasn't sure what about, but it would've been rude to listen in. Phil knows he's better than that. Although, it still makes him wonder.

He picked out two CDs he's been looking forward to owning a physical copy of. Owning the actual CD meant he could keep it forever. Maybe if it lasted long enough, his own copy would be put in a futuristic museum, or something. The odds were slim, of course, but it was still a cool thought.

Making his way to the counter, he mistakenly heard a few words come from the boy.

“I barely remember anything that happened after you calmed down!” The stranger must've been distressed in this conversation. Whatever they were talking about, it probably wouldn't have ended all that well.

Phil cautiously approached the counter, CDs in hand.

Phil remembers how beautiful the cashier looked this close up. He thinks about his eyes first. How their chestnut irises still sparkled when they looked up at him. Phil remembers how soft his facial features looked. This guy, Mr. Brown-eyes, is what Phil decided to call him, took his breath away. He might've sounded put together, but inside he was losing it.

Before Phil left, he made sure to take it upon himself to look at Mr. Brown-eyes’ nametag. Daniel. Well then, Daniel. Phil was going to make sure he saw this Daniel every day until he made his head sick. Whether they liked it or not.

 

~~~

 

Phil rolls over onto his stomach so he can see the time better on his alarm clock.

_1:17 AM_. Damn it. How could it already be this late at night? Or, early morning? Phil didn't know the science behind the terminology. Nor did he really care. All he knows is that he's been awake for too long.

He thinks back to all the things he's tried to fall asleep. He's gone to use the bathroom, get a drink, do some stretches. It then hit him like a slap across the face. Why hadn't he tried music yet? That seemed to help him before in the past, why not try it now?   
  
Fingers fumbling over the bedside table for his glasses, and his phone, he finds himself rolling his eyes at the irony.   
A music snob as himself is looking up music in his phone library? Something about the picture is ridiculous.

He turns his music on shuffle, hoping not to stumble across something heavy during the late hours of the night. That would only hype him up more. There was no way he would sleep after that. 

He places his glasses back on the table, turning over onto his left side. Phil can’t help but to once again sink into the lyrics of the songs playing. The instruments echo deeply through his brain, and as he finally starts to fall asleep to the brief sounds of _Rebecca_ by _Meg & Dia _ricochet off of his skull.  

 

~~~

 

When Phil awakes, the first thing he does is remember his events from yesterday. How often would he think of something so unimportant? Or at least, unimportant to others; however he knew he needed this job. After losing the previous one to a simple miscommunication over a fax machine and a cranky boss, Phil definitely deserved to work where he was actually happy, and not at some lonely desk job. It was in a building where he couldn’t sit still. The room was always too quiet, and the people too stiff. How are you supposed to work with people who never talk to you? Not even on break? What a lame excuse. He knew they didn’t like them there, yet, he could never figure out what he ever did to upset them all. 

So here he is now. In a new apartment, clear on the other side of the city. He had enough money to get him by for a little while, but after this week’s rent, he’d really be cutting it close.

He gets out of bed after putting on his glasses and stretching out every limb in insane ways. It really feels impossible to be so flexible for only 30 seconds of every moring.

 

Venturing into the kitchen to eat, it really only now hits him that yesterday was the first day in perhaps a few weeks where he left the house. Keeping his promise from the night, he decides to visit _The Sing_ again today. Although, he wasn’t sure what he would do there today, but thinking about bumping into Daniel again is just the encouragement he needs to get out and about.

After quickly eating a bowl of cereal with way too much sugar on top, he makes his way to prepare himself for the day. The routine of contacts, shower, clothes, and lounging on his phone for too long in between each of those things. Finishing with brushing his teeth, he pulls on some shoes and heads out the door.

 

He has to come all the way back upstairs due to him forgetting his wallet.

 

It really doesn’t take Phil too long to walk the distance to the music shop. He isn’t sure how long it takes for sure. He practically lives in his earbuds, making time an illusion.  

 

By _11:10 AM_ he walks inside the building, immediately noticing Daniel restalking a rack of CDs.

Phil gingerly walks along the wall beside the same rack, heart already racing. What would he do? What would he say? Was this…dumb?

Phil turns around when he thought his heart was going to give out. Unfortunately, as he does so, his left foot gets caught on his right, making him stumble and literally smack his face into the rack that was being stalked.

 

_“Damn it. How much more embarrassing can this get?”_ Phil thought to himself.  

“Oh damn! Are you alright?” Phil heard a voice next to his ear. Shit.

 

“Uh, yeah. I tend to do that a lot.” Hearing himself speaking came to a surprise.

The employee had his hand on Phil’s shoulder to stabilize him, making his heart beat a bit faster than what should’ve been normal.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone trip over their own feet, then run nose first into a CD rack.” He lowered his hand back to his side.

“Yeah, I’m a bit of a clutz most of the time.” Phil noticed the neat piles of CDs he happened to knock over during his fiasco. “Oh. I’m sorry. I didn’t even realize I knocked them over.”

“It’s no big deal. I’ll have to sort them out again, but it’s my job. I’d rather be here than somewhere else.” He looked almost unsure of himself. He looked up to face Phil.

“Hey, weren’t you in here yesterday?” He asked.

“Er, yeah. I was in the area again today and thought I’d stop by.”   
  
_“I white lie. Nice one, Phil.”_ He thinks.

“I hope those CDs are treating you well?” He seemed a bit lost to make conversation. That, or he really was just trying his best to do his job. Either way, Phil thinks this is cute.   
  
“Oh, yes! I haven’t gotten to know all the songs yet, but I’m getting there eventually.” Phil says, hoping that he sounds a little more confident than he was a minute ago.   
  
Phil darts his eyes around the room for a moment. He once again glances towards the pile of discs scattered on the grey carpet. “Would you, er, like help there?” He asks Daniel; wanting to spend more time with Mr. Brown-eyes for as long as possible.     
  
Daniel’s head moves towards the small pile briefly. “Oh, Uh, I dunno,”   
  
“I made the mess. With my face nonetheless. I’m sure the least I can do is help.” Phil wouldn’t let the guy finish his sentence. Before he knew what he was doing, he got down on the floor and started gathering the albums that landed too far to be considered in the pile anymore.   
  
“Well I guess there’s no stopping you, then. Is there?” He got down to join Phil on the ground, temporarily pausing to shake his head.   
  
“No, not often. Now, we have a goal here. How were these sorted?” Phil gave the CDs in his hand back to Mr. Brown-eyes.   
  
“Mostly by genre. Some were sorted by artist, but that doesn’t really matter at this point.” He let out a small laugh at Phil’s determination.   
  
They spent several minutes putting each CD into three stacks: Pop, Rock, and Indie. They were going to sort them out further from there.   
  
“So,” Daniel took a small intake of breath. “You never actually told me your name.”

This, Phil realizes is an issue. If he plans to spend more time with this person, he ought to know his name.

“Oh, I’m sorry I haven’t mentioned it. I’m Phil. Phil Lester.” Phil reached his hand out to the other man.   
  
He took his hand, shaking gently. “Dan. Dan Howell.”

_“So. Dan.”_ Phil smirked to himself. Something about the name preference made his heart flutter. Why was this happening? It’s been a day, and Phil was reacting like this was another school crush. Although, when he was in school, he wasn’t attracted to men with curly hair and soft brown eyes.   
  
“It’s nice to meet you, Dan.” Phil pulled his hand away, smiling brightly.

“Dan, now isn’t the time to be flirting with pretty boys. You have work to do elsewhere!” Called a voice from across the room that Phil hadn’t noticed before then. A woman’s voice. Phil assumed it was the same coworker that he saw Dan argue with yesterday.

“Mind your fucking business, Emily!” Dan shouted back at her; giving Phil less eye contact. 

“That’s no way to talk to your manager!” Emily yelled, trying to stifle a laugh that Phil almost didn’t pick up on. “And no swearing in front of the customers!”   


“You’re not the manager _yet_ , and I will swear all I fucking want to, thanks!” Dan turned back to face Phil now, clearly flustered.   
  
Phil had his tongue poked out of the side of his mouth slightly. Something he did that he was never conscious of.

“It seems you’ve been called out.” Phil teased.   


Dan’s eyes went wider. Not by much, but enough to notice. “Don’t mind her. She likes to mess with me more than I like to admit.”   
  
“So, you think I’m pretty?” Phil took this opportunity to flirt using what Emily had said.   


“Well, I mean, you’re n-not unattractive.” He subtly stuttered over his words. Somehow Phil gained confidence in this. His flirting game was strong.

“I could say the same for you, actually;” Phil leaned over his crossed legs to get just a little bit closer to Dan’s face. Without crossing any boundaries, if he didn’t fall over again. “In fact, I’d say you’re quite attractive.” He leaned back slowly, trying to put his words in affect.   
  
Dan looked at him with surprise, grinning widely.

“I’ve got a job here to do, Phil. But, if you follow me for a moment I can give you a reason to come back again tomorrow.” Dan stood from his sitting position on his knees, reaching for Phil’s hand to help him stand.   


Phil took his hand, letting Dan help him up.

Dan led him to the other side of the room, not dropping his hand. Which was quite fortunate for Phil’s self-esteem. Dan only let go once they got to the counter. Phil couldn’t help but feel lonely for the warmth of his hand there.

Dan walked around quickly to the other side, ducking underneath. When he returned, held a pen and a small notepad in his hand.  
  
“This, Phil,” He gestured to what he was writing. “Is my number.” He folded the paper, picking up Phil’s hand, and placing it on top.

Phil must’ve been grinning ear to ear. Phil hasn’t had this good of a day in probably years.

“I get off about _8:30_. Text me around then?” Dan asks convincingly.

Everything in Phil wants to kiss him there on the spot, but he knows that no matter how beautiful Dan is, he barely knows him. Thus, that would make it the most inappropriate “okay” he could give. Instead, he lets himself smile with what he thinks makes him look like an idiot, but it only makes Dan’s eyes light up.

“Alright. It sounds like a plan.” Phil puts the paper in the pocket of his black jeans. “I’ll text you then.”

“I’ll look forward to it. Now in the meantime, I better get back to work.” Dan walked past Phil, brushing his shoulder against Phil’s. This made him shudder. “I’ll see you later then, Phil.” Dan waved a goodbye, turning back to the spot where the CDs where knocked over and soon fixed.

"Bye, Dan." He says, making his way to the door.

Once outside, he plugs his earbuds back into his phone, unpausing his music. Again walking through the busy streets of London, the lyrics of _Rebecca_ played through the speakers a second time. Phil supposed that the Music Gods were playing a trick on him, until he remembered how Dan's eyes glittered just right. This time when the song played, Phil listened close to how the well-written words made him feel. The entire time he was overwhelmed with the memory of brown, closer to him than he ever thought possible. Lyrics rung through his ears, causing he to stand still for just a moment.

_With laughter in his eyes._   
_A smirk followed close behind._ _  
_"We're strangers but I'm sure we should be married."

He felt that. He was sure there was more there than what first meets the eye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come say hi to me on tumblr! @iamemotrashdotcom


	3. three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I struggled. you're welcome

“Dan, what the hell was that?” Emily poked her head around the side of the CD rack where Dan was trying to finish his job of restalking CDs. Which was taking longer thanks to Phil Lester’s clumsy ass. Although, not that Dan really minded; he liked the look of Phil’s ass. Clumsy or not. 

 

“That, Em, is hopefully my next boyfriend if he manages to have a personality as beautiful as his appearance.” Dan was thrilled to have Phil back in the store today. He was even more ecstatic to have Phil flirt with him first. Thus making it possible for him to flirt back. He was more than willing to follow Emily’s rules, if it meant getting to know Phil better. 

 

“I was just following your rules. You said that as long as they flirt with one of us first, then it’s alright.” Dan shot at her, wishing to end this conversation as soon as possible. 

 

“You were holding his freaking hand!” Emily really wasn’t happy. She was less excited yesterday, but for some strange reason Phil boiled her insides.    
  


“It wasn’t even that long!” Dan was starting to feel agitated. He knows that Emily is just trying to look after him, but it isn’t making him any less annoyed at the moment. 

 

“You really need to get your priorities straight.” Emily rolled her eyes while simultaneously crossing her arms across her chest.

 

_ “Why can’t she just drop it? It’s not like we were snogging. He helped me, I gave him my number, and he left. That’s it.”  _  Dan had his fingers hooked on the metal of the CD rack, trying to keep his feelings inside. He really didn’t want to argue about this now. Not ever, really, but especially now.

 

“Em, I really don’t feel like discussing it. Can we please just, drop it? At least for now? We shouldn't talk about it at work.”

 

“Fine, but you should know that Jodi’s in the back room. I didn’t think you knew. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be so handsy.” Emily stood up straight, keeping her arms crossed. She tread her black heels back to her position at the counter. It was almost as if she did this just to annoy Dan more.

 

Dan pulled out his phone long enough to check the time.

 

_ 12:24 PM _ .  _ “What a perfect time to clear my head for awhile. Quite possibly Em’s, too.”  _ Dan thought. Now was a great time to take a break. Maybe go get something to eat? It’s not like there was much going on in the fridge in the break room anyways. 

 

“Em, I’m gonna go on break. It’s almost 12:30, and there’s nothing to eat here.” Dan announced from the spot he was still stood in. 

 

“Mkay. Bring us back a coffee, yeah?” She doesn’t look up from the book Dan notices is a new way for her to not talk to him.   
  


“Sure. Be back in about 40.”

 

_ “So, to  _ Starbucks  _ it is.”  _  He grins to himself. Something about  _ Starbucks  _ seems to make everything better. 

 

He grabs his coat, heads out the door, and travels around the corner to the direction of the coffee shop.

 

~~~

 

It takes little to no time at all to arrive. Once there, he makes his decision quickly while waiting in the fairly short line, considering the lunch rush. 

 

Dan decides that today he’ll take it easy and have a salad. It probably could’ve been better if he was more nutritiously balanced, but today, he really didn’t care.   
  


_ “It’s boring, but food is food.”  _ He shrugs to himself.

 

He decides to order both Emily and Jodi’s coffee’s black. He wasn’t in the best attitude to remember what they liked, and didn’t like. He also couldn’t be bothered to come all the way back for a new one.

 

The line moves swiftly, along with the speed of his order being made out to “Daniel”, where he  _ did  _ say “Dan”, but the barista had different ideas. 

 

_ “ ‘Dan’, doesn’t take as long to write, but whatever.”  _ He said to himself bitterly. 

 

He goes to the corner of the room where a black circular table sat with matching chairs. The arrangement of the room made it so that the small table would’ve been wedged in between the two windows on either side, had it not been round.

 

He sits down impatiently, taking the time he has here to scroll through  _ Tumblr _ . Even if it’s just five minutes, it’s enough to satisfy himself. Working at the  _ The Sing _ is clearly a good job for him, although, even if the store is empty for hours, screen time is always a no-go. If Jodi doesn’t flip shit, then Emily will, and Dan just can’t handle it. 

Dan loves Emily. He really does, but sometimes she tends to be over controlling. Especially at work, she tends to overstep boundaries. 

 

Dan’s name is called before he’s even aware that time has passed at all. He makes his way to the counter, grabbing his order. However, on his way back to his table, he finds his seat has been taken by a very familiar figure. 

 

“Phil?” He asked, just slightly unsure. But how could he possibly forget the figure of such a handsome man?   
  


“Dan? Hey!” Phil turned his head to face Dan, taken aback.

 

“I think you’re in my seat.” Dan let out a glimpse of a chuckle.   
  


“Your seat? No, Dan, this was my seat before I went to the loo. What are you doing here, anyway? Shouldn’t you still be organizing CDs?” He smiled up at Dan, who still had his hands full.   
  
“Lunch break. What would you be doing?” Dan set his things down on the table now. He didn’t have to be back for a few, so there’s no point in holding hot coffees’ longer than he needed to. “Have you been coming up with the perfect text to send me later?” He teased. He wasn’t at his workplace, so flirting was open game at the moment.    
  
Phil laughed at this. “No, not at the moment. I was doing what I assume you were doing. Ordering a coffee and using their free wifi.”    
  


Dan sat down by this point. There wasn’t any purpose in standing, now was there? 

“How would you know I was using the wifi?”

 

“What kind of person do you think I am, Dan? You leave work briefly and you’re on your phone. I know how these things work.” Phil tilted his head up just a bit. It was a small gesture, but it made Dan’s heart race like crazy.

 

“You already know me so well then.” Dan took a sip of his latte, washing away his words with the hot drink. 

 

Dan’s phone vibrated against his pocket at these words. 

 

_ “That’s a little strange. I doubt I’ve been gone all that long.”  _ Dan peeked at the screen noticing that it wasn’t one of his coworkers like he suspected, but in fact was an unknown number. He grinned, opening it; learning exactly who it was.   
  
**_Unknown:_ ** _ Hey Dan! It’s Phil. You said to text when you were off work, but here you are in front of me. Hi. _

 

“You sneaky shit!” Dan placed his phone down on the table a little too hard, trying to conceal a bellowing laugh.

 

Phil was in the same boat. His tongue poked out of the side of his mouth from laughter. Dan supposed that this happened a lot, and he had a hard time hiding the emotion on his face that showed he thought this was really fucking cute.

 

“Sorry, I saw a window of opportunity.” The undertone of Phil’s voice almost sounded suggestive.

 

_ “This is going to be interesting, isn’t it?”  _  Dan’s brain was running wild.

 

“Why, because I’m here now and not at work where I can be distracted by trying to organize CDs? Yeah, I’d hope you take every opportunity you can get so that I don’t have to do my bloody job!” They both found themselves unable to stop snickering loudly. 

 

“Speaking of, I hate to leave you by yourself, but I must be getting back to the store. I’m probably going to be late back as it is.” The disappointment in Dan’s voice was uncanny. He wanted to stay here with Phil for as long as possible. There was something in Phil’s persona that drew Dan closer. He wasn’t quite sure what it was yet, but he was more than determined to find out sooner rather than later.

 

“That’s a shame. I was looking forward to coffee with the one and only!” Phil held his chin with the hand that was propped on the table by his elbow.    
  


_ “Fuck, why does he have to look so damn adorable?”  _  Luckily, this too, was said only in Dan’s mind.

 

He stood now, grabbing his things. “I was looking forward to it as well. Maybe we’ll have to replace coffee with dinner.” Winking, he could swear that along with Phil, his face was also bright. He couldn’t  _ believe  _ he just said that. 

 

_ “Fucking hell, why did I say that?”  _ Freaking out was something he did often, he was just glad he hid it well. Or, he at the very least hoped that it wasn’t noticeable. 

 

“I’ll text you the details, then. We can discuss it more when you’re actually off of work “ Phil stood now too, making them at eye level again. 

 

“Thanks for talking with me, Phil. I’ll text you later.”

 

Phil nodded whilst smiling, and Dan was off. Out the door, down the street, around a few blocks, and unfortunately he was back at work.   
  


~~~

 

“It’s about time, Dan! What took you so long?” Emily stood up abruptly.   
  
“Long line.” He didn’t want to make her any more irritated than she already was at him by telling her that he stopped to talk to Phil. 

 

“Mmhm. Okay, well, trusting that most of that time you were gone was spent in line, I’ll give you ten minutes to eat. Otherwise, Jodi told me while you were out that she wanted to see you. I think it had something to do with training.” Emily took her coffee from Dan, making her way to the back where there was a small kitchenette. 

 

Dan sat his things down, also taking his coffee and his salad to the backroom, running into Emily on his way in. 

 

He walked around the room, traveling through the short hallway and to the last door into Jodi’s office. A small room with two large windows on the wall across from the door. A black desk sat in the middle of the room, symmetrical with the windows on either side. Three identical armchairs were included. Two on one side of the desk for other employees, and one on the other side for Jodi. In this case, the third looked the same, but must’ve been much more comfortable than the other two.

Other than this, the room is quite plain. The same grey carpet from the main area of the store runs through the entire building. It’s quite boring, really. This part of the building, Jodi’s office included, isn’t rather bright compared to the lobby. Dan wasn’t sure why the building contractors thought that two different lighting sources was a good idea, but it’s nothing he can control. Much like most things in his life.

 

“You wanted to see me, Jodi?” Dan cautiously came into the room, waiting for Jodi’s reply.

 

Jodi was known as a shark. Tough when she needed to be, and got things done. She filled the manager position well, and anyone after her had big shoes to fill. Jodi wasn’t someone to be taken lightly. With Jodi reaching her late forties, Emily had been hoping to take over for her, and although it was something Jodi considered, it wasn’t a position for Emily to have yet. Jodi had said that she would be dead before she retired. She loved her work, and working at  _ The Sing _ , was the best job she ever had. Or, that’s what Dan has gathered from the woman over the time he's worked. 

 

“Yes dear, come on in! Have a seat, please.” Jodi looked up from her desktop, gesturing dan over to the armchair on the right side.

“I’m planning on calling in some interviews tomorrow, and I have been slaving away at applications.” 

 

Dan sat in the cushioned chair, nervous as to where she was taking the conversation. “I’m sorry, Jodi, where is this going?” 

 

“Dan,” She leaned forward in here chair, seemingly trying to make him calmer by getting closer to his face. Which wasn’t helping all that much. “You need to relax, dear. I want you to help me out. We have several more applications to go, and that is quite surprising considering how little our business is.” She relaxed herself into her original position in her seat. 

 

“Oh. Are you sure Emily wouldn’t rather do something like this? It’s not that I’m unwilling, of course, but she is always talking about how she’s after your job.” He joked. Anything that took a lot of consideration over people really wasn’t his forte. In a work environment, that is.

 

“Dan, if I wanted Emily to do this job, then I would’ve asked her. I believe she can do a fine job taking over my work, but at the moment I would rather you do this for me.” She soothingly reassured. 

 

“Well, alright. What do you want me to do?” He slouched just slightly in response.

 

“I want you to overlook the paper applications while I go through the ones on our website. Sort them by most interesting. I can go from there.” Jodi turned to her computer screen, giving Dan a large stack of applications.    
  


_ “Holy shit.”  _ His mind was going to set itself on fire if it had to endure this pain for too long 

 

~~~

 

By the time Dan was finished, he had found himself crossed-leg on the floor. He done this to give more room than there was on the desk. He sorted the applications into three piles: Don't Bother, Take a Second Look, Definitely Interview. He had to admit, a good share of them went into the first two piles, because he didn't understand half of what the potential employees were trying to accomplish.

 

The sorting took most of his time, and although this was work that kept his mind busy, he wished he could've finished the CD stacking in the other room. Mainly because Emily would have done the rest for him, and he had such a specific way that he wanted them put. Emily stacks them however they're boxed in order to get the job done and out of the way. 

 

He uncrossed his legs, like he did about a thousand times to stretch out. "Alright, I believe that's the last of them." He lightly rubbed his palms on his jeans, beginning to stand. 

 

"Wonderful! Thank you so much, Dan! This makes everything so much easier for all of us!" Jodi let out a small sigh. "I'm just about finished with things here," She paused, clicking her mouse a few times. "Okay! Done! Dan, before you move on, I have something else I want you to do for me." 

 

_ "What now? That was excruciating enough!"  _ Dan eternally screamed. 

 

"What else can I help with?" He asked, trying to compose sanity. 

 

"After I've done the hiring, I would greatly appreciate it if you would help train. I'd have Emily do it, however you're the one who helped go over applications and all. It only makes the most sense."

 

Before Dan could let any words of protest escape, he quickly nodded his head. 

 

_ "Great, now I gotta deal with actually saying I would."  _ This was the last thing on his agenda of ever, but at least it would give him more to do during a regular work day. 

 

"Great! Well, for the rest of your shift, just uh, go make yourself useful. I suppose Emily might have a few ideas." She stood up now, walking to gather the papers from the carpet. 

 

"Alright, then." He said bluntly. He got his garbage he left on the desk, and threw it away on his way down the hall.

 

Once taking a seat behind the counter, he takes his phone out, checking the time. 

 

_ 4:16 PM “Damn.”  _ He felt as though it was much later. Not that  _ 4:16  _ was necessarily early, but two and a half hours of reading through applications that didn’t concern him in the least bit, wasn’t what he would call his time preferred spent.

 

He still had about four more hours of work that he wasn’t looking forward to. Four more hours until he was free from hell. Four more hours until Phil would text again.

 

He didn’t have anything in particular to do. Emily was sat reading, which meant that everything was caught up with for now. He decided to take the opportunity.

 

**_Dan:_ ** _ Hey Phil _

 

He stared at his phone for what felt like an eternity. He was clearly bored out of his wits. 

 

**_Phil:_ ** _ Shouldn’t you be working? ;)  _

 

Dan couldn’t help but let himself blush at the simple emoticon. He almost felt embarrassed by thinking something so small would be so cute to him. Almost.

 

**_Dan:_ ** _ nope. There’s nothing for me to work on and I still have nearly 4 hours left  _

 

**_Phil:_ ** _ Well then, you better find something to keep yourself busy.  _

 

**_Dan:_ ** _ i am. I’m texting you. dork.  _

 

**_Phil:_ ** _ It’s a shame there isn’t something productive for both of us. _ __   
  


He wondered what Phil meant by that. Like, was Phil just bored, or was he wanting to discuss the dinner that Dan brought up earlier? 

 

_ “Shit, I knew it was too soon to say anything. He probably wants to bring it up just to turn me down.”  _ Dan was never to great at thinking positive. 

_   
_ **_Dan:_ ** _ What do you mean? _

 

**_Phil:_ ** _ I’m stuck at home and I’ve already finished the series I’ve been binging on Netflix.  _

 

There it was.The turn down. Well, it wasn’t a turn down, but really a let down. Dan could feel his soul crushing. He knows that it isn’t something to get hung up over, but he really thought that Phil was going to be different. He hadn’t known him for hardly any time at all, and he got his hopes up. Something he swore never to do. 

 

_ “No, Dan. Don’t do this. He isn’t like what you’re thinking. He’s a normal guy with a life. You can’t expect him to want to be flirting all the damn time. Hell, it’s not like you walk around flirting with every person you see on the street.”  _ He was calming down now. It seems that taking a moment to breathe really does help a bit. 

 

**_Phil:_ ** _ Also, I can't promise dinner tonight, but I can promise a stroll under the stars. _

 

Dan's heart lit up. He was astonished Phil took it seriously. He didn't actually expect him to say something so soon about the dinner he teased, but nonetheless, it felt good. 

 

At least this _for_ _sure_ cleared up that Phil wasn't like Jeremy: Straight.

 

**_Dan:_ ** _ aw how romantic! Are we gonna have a picnic too? Break out the champagne? Oh, maybe it'll rain and we'll have to take cover somewhere and we'll kiss and then get married a month later and have 12 babies I'm so excited!!! _

 

Dan was sure he could feel the amount of cringe of ten years piling up. He figured that the best way to get into a relationship was sarcasm. Perhaps it wasn't the best tactic, but it would prove that he wasn't like Alyssa: Humourless.

 

**_Phil:_ ** _ Maybe we could go to a beekeeping farm! That is definitely the first place I would take my one true love. _

 

Dan grinned at how stupid this conversation was turning out to be.

 

**_Dan:_ ** _ Bees? Really?  _

 

**_Phil:_ ** _ Hey! They're a good investment! _

 

**_Dan:_ ** _ A good investment? _

 

**_Phil:_ ** _ Okay, not for me, but some people enjoy them! _

 

Dan could tell that whatever this was, it was starting off good. He liked how Phil's mind worked. Even if it was a little strange sometimes. Dan was just glad he wasn't dealing with another Derek. 

 

The store was then echoing the sounds of  _ Pompeii  _ by  _ Bastille  _ quite suddenly. 

 

_ "Bloody Emily!"  _ Dan couldn't help but chuckle to himself at her music cravings. It nearly scared him to death, but he was grateful for it.

 

"Phone away, Daniel. There's work to do." She was now stood by the stereo.

 

"What work? You've done everything." He raised his eyebrows at her. As if to ask if she actually had done everything.

 

"No, you still have to finish your CDs." Emily placed a hand on her hips.

 

"I assumed you done them." He argued back at her. He really, really didn't to leave his texting with Phil.

 

"Nope. I know you like them a specific way, so I left them." 

 

Dan flexed his shoulders back, trying to emphasize his lack of motivation to move.

 

Emily sighed. "Finish then, but you better do it quickly." 

 

Dan smiled at her, shooting his last text to Phil for the moment.

 

**_Dan:_ ** _ I hate to leave it here, but Emily is going to have my throat if I don't get going. _

 

**_Phil:_ ** _ You better go, then. I would be upset if your throat was missing. I'll meet you there tonight when you get off. I really do want to go for a walk around.  _

 

**_Dan:_ ** _ I look forward to it. _

 

Dan stood, putting his phone in his pocket, walking back to where his CD organizing was. The chorus of  _ Pompeii  _ played while he did so, making him feel like dancing.

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like to confuse myself. Please come say hi to me on tumblr @iamemotrashdotcom


	4. four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it took so long to update!!

It had been a few hours since Phil told Dan he was going to pick him up after work. He didn’t know why he said it. At the time he believed it was a good idea, and now, he wasn’t so sure. 

 

He was definitely scared that he was making it all up in his mind. What else do you do when you ask the really hot guy to go for a nighttime walk with you? You freak out like what Phil has been doing for the last hour. It didn’t make sense, to freak out, that is. It’s just a walk, so what could possibly go wrong. 

 

_ “A lot of things, Phil, a lot of things.”   _ He told himself. Not that it was helping him feel any better. He could really go for some sweets right about now.

 

He had close to five minutes before he had to leave, and he was still lying on the couch, trying to make the fear go away. 

 

It also didn’t help the butterflies in his tummy when only an hour ago he got a call from who he assumed was Dan’s boss, asking if Phil would be willing to come in for an interview tomorrow morning. He wondered if that was too soon for an interview callback, but he was hopeful for whatever reasons they had. He needed this job, and seeing Dan a whole lot more made his chest swell. 

 

He finally made himself get up, making his head spin as he stood up way too quickly. He pulled on his shoes, his coat, and gathered his keys and wallet.

After making sure he didn’t forget anything, he was out the door and down the pavement, going to find Dan. 

 

~~~

 

Phil couldn’t help but show off his wide smile walking inside the music shop. Dan was in the corner, trying to figure out which new instruments were hung where, and how he was supposed to hang them. It was a pretty easy thing to find funny. Dan was yelling at the top of his lungs for Emily to come over and help him.

 

“No I don’t  _ fucking _ understand! I’ve never been told to hang up tubas whilst I’ve been here, Em! Who In their right mind makes an instrument so bloody stupid looking anyway?” The tuba was leaned against the wall now; sat there in a rage quit. 

 

“I could ask you the same thing.” Phil walked up to the back of Dan, keeping his voice quiet.

 

Dan spun around, looking like he was ready to slap Phil across the face.

“You motherfucker!” He lowered his hand immediately, taking a sharp intake of breath while doing so. Letting it out slowly, he slid his hands into his back pocket. “You scared the shit outta me.” 

A small rosey patch showed up on Dan’s cheek now. Phil suspected this was because he was flustered, and it made everything ten times better.

 

He grinned even broader. This was going to be one hell of an evening, and it made his tummy flutter again, but this time not because of nerves, but because of excitement. 

 

“I don’t know what you would’ve done if I were someone else.” Phil jokenly flung a hand to his heart, pretending to act offended.

 

“I’m not sure that I would’ve done anything. I might’ve just froze and let them kill me.” Dan moved his arms, crossing them over his chest. 

 

“What if they were coming in for a hug? Would you let them tackle you then?” He asked, mildly serious.

 

Dan started to walk in front of Phil, headed behind the counter, grabbing his coat. “They’d have to catch me first. Although, I’m not very fast, so they’d have the upperhand.” He walked as he scribbled something down on a piece of paper that Phil couldn’t see from where he was standing.

Dan walked over to a door from behind the counter, opening it and calling inside. “I’m headed, Em!”

 

Emily made a muffled sound from the other side, and the two walked side by side to the door to the outside, in the cold, dark night.

 

~~~

 

"So, Dan. What made you want to work there?" Phil asked, tucking his hands into his coat pockets.

 

Dan copied Phil's actions. "I'm not sure. I applied because I needed a job that was simple and paid my rent." He admitted, watching his feet as they walked. 

 

"Well that's a lame answer." Phil looked up hesitantly. He was hoping that any kind of teasing would gain him points, although he didn't want to upset him any. 

 

"Well Phil, I'm a lame person." Dan chuckled at himself. 

 

"I disagree! I think you're interesting!" Phil argued back, stifling in a laugh.

 

"Interesting? Phil, you hardly know me. What if I've got a serial killer kink, or something." Dan looked at him now. 

 

Shit. There was something about seeing Dan under moonlight that made Phil's face tint red. He was sure glad for the dark.

 

"Well then, we've got a while. Why don't you let me get to know you?" Phil elbowed Dan in the arm lightly. He was trying to keep the banter friendly, but this felt as if he was just making things weirder each moment. 

 

"Okay. Uhh, why don't we start with the basics," He paused, even stopped walking for a moment. "Shit, what even are the basics?" 

 

They both were thrown into a silence, followed  by small laughs. 

 

"The basics. You're favorite color? What do you like to do when you're not at work? I thought you'd know how to do these things." 

It had only been a few minutes, and Phil was with someone whom he didn't know all that well, and he was sure that he could never wipe the smile from his face.

 

"My favorite color? How old are you? Seven?" Dan grinned back. "Probably black." He answered.

 

"Black? Black is a shade." 

 

"Well it's my favorite  _ shade _ then, you spork."

 

~~~

 

Phil lead them to a small grassy area with a bench during the time they were walking. 

 

They talked about everything. It started awkward at first, but it eased it's way into TV shows and music similarities. 

 

Phil felt good. Amazing, even. He could really get used to Dan's company. The way his eyes lit up when Phil made a pun about a show they were both watching made Phil feel great. When Dan became passionate about the newest  _ Muse _ album, Phil fell entranced. 

An hour was equivalent to five minutes. 

 

There were obvious things that they got on well with, while other topics were disagreeable. No matter the topic change, flirting, or awkward silence, Phil finally felt that for the first time in close to two years, he made a friend again. 

 

Phil supposed that there could still be things to worry about, but for the time being, Dan was good. He was good, and Phil was happy. He only hopped that Dan saw Phil the same way.

 

They ended up sitting in comfortable quietness together on the small bench. Neither was sure what else to talk about, but sitting in peace felt soothing.

 

"I'm glad you've brought me with you, Phil." Dan finally spoke up. 

 

Dan seemed happy, and it once again cast a smile on Phil's lips. "I'm glad that I took you in the first place. It's nice tonight."

 

Dan hummed in agreement.

 

They were sitting really close, Phil realized. He tried to convince himself that it was the colder weather that made them sit nearly thigh to thigh; but when Dan slipped his hand out of his pocket and laced his fingers with Phil's, it was clear that it wasn't just the weather that made this happen. 

 

"Is this okay?" Dan asked so quietly that Phil wasn't sure if he spoke at all.

 

"Hmm," He sighed. "More than."

 

They sat that way for a while. Occasionally Dan would rub his thumb over the back of Phil's hand, and he had to admit, that practically killed him.

 

~~~

 

Eventually, after the city around them started to fall asleep, and the two of them had laughed so hard their sides hurt, it was time for them to part ways for the night. It was late, it was dark, and only a few bars were still open.

 

They passed by a bar with the music loud. It wasn't too odd, but it also wasn't exactly what either of them fully expected. 

Phil recognized the song. He was pretty sure it was by  _ Ed Sheeran _ , however he wasn't extremely familiar with his music.

 

They strolled along, still hand in hand. Dan had started humming the song they heard, making Phil's heart pulsate way too quickly. 

 

They turned a few more corners, and before Phil was ready to even think about saying goodbye, Dan led him to the tall building on the right of them. Dan's apartment building. 

 

They got inside and all the way to Dan's floor. Phil hadn't noticed how cold it really was before they were outside the door to Dan's flat. 

 

" 'M sorry, I'd invite you in, but tomorrow's my last day before I have a few days off." Dan looked sheepishly at his feet. 

 

"Right, you need some sleep, then, yeah?" Phil squeezed Dan's hand before letting go, immediately regretting dropping it so soon.

 

Dan shoved his hand back into his pocket after Phil let go. Quite slowly at that, too. "Yeah, unfortunately." 

 

Phil nodded, sharing a soft grin. 

 

"I'll text you."

 

"I look forward to hearing from you again." Phil put his hand in his own pocket now, missing the warmth from Dan.

 

"Thanks tonight. It was lovely." 

 

Phil took a short step back, really not wanting to leave. "Thank you for joining me." 

 

Dan unlocked his door, turning the handle to go inside. "Night, Phil."

 

"G'night, Dan."

 

Dan turned around to go inside, queuing Phil back down the stairs.

 

Once out the front doors, Phil remembers the song that Dan hummed. The same one from the bar. As  _ Castle on the Hill  _ shared a slightly different meaning than what Phil was feeling, he could still feel content with the feeling of surety that came with. He felt so good, so happy. 

 

He didn't even know Dan's name yesterday, and tonight he knew more about him than he thought was going to be possible. He had gone so long without someone to share a single interest with, and now there was Dan. It had only been a few hours, though he was sure that this could last him just a little longer than his other friends. His other relationships. It was exciting, new, and definitely scary. But damn it, he was ready to move on and start again. 

 


	5. five

It's been a few days now, and Dan still hasn't come down from his high. He and Phil had been talking non-stop since that night under the stars, and it has felt like perfection.

Dan supposes that he's walking a thin line, and he really doesn't want to even let his mind go there.

 

Spending rocky relationship after rocky relationship, one after the other, put Dan in a state of mind where all the walls are up. He doesn't want to give in so easily, but he can't possibly let go of Phil.

 

Dan didn't just go and _do_ one night stands. It happened, yes, but like everything else in his life recently, it wasn't planned. It wasn't planned, and it wasn't with people that he could give any sort of personal information to.

 

Phil was kind of the opposite of a one-nighter for Dan.

 

Phil's kind, and surprisingly quick witted. He's confident when Dan isn't in a conversation. His smile lights up the entire room, and his eyes are the whole vast of the ocean. They have so much in common, and so much more to go deeper whilst talking. It's all different than the last ones, and it makes Dan want to give Phil everything he hasn't been brave enough to tell even Emily.

 

It's insane, and it's scary. Dan feels the tightrope underneath his feet. He wants to get to the other side, yet, he hasn't been trained properly.

 

It hasn't even been a full week, however, Dan can tell that gravity is pulling him along towards the man that trips over his own feet and sends him dog memes at three in the morning.

 

It kills him.

 

Right now, he lays on his side in bed. He has work in the early hours, and sleep still won't overtake his useless brain. It's pissing him off completely.

 

"It's already _2:48_? Son of a bitch!" He says aloud, glaring at the time on his iPhone. Somehow hoping that this would help his insomnia for the night.

 

He gets up in nothing but his pants, stumbling to the bathroom cabinet for some sort of sleep support meditation. Digging for it is a pain in the ass, but he eventually finds what he's looking for.

 

He heads back to bed feeling a bit better from stretching his legs, and in less than thirty minutes he's out like a light. Finally.

 

~~~

 

_Phil, Phil, Phil._

Is the only thing on Dan's mind. He woke up and who did he think of? Phil. He made breakfast and where was he? Back a few nights ago with Phil. He left his flat and who texted him? Phil; with a good morning greeting. He got to work and who did he see in the backroom with Jodi? Fucking, Phil Lester.

 

Out of all of the applications that Dan was forced to help Jodi with, she hired Phil. It's not that Dan was complaining, more the opposite, really. It just seemed too good to be true.

 

Dan practically marched straight over to Phil, whom was busy talking with Jodi, but Dan didn't mind.

 

"The hell you didn't tell me?" He nearly screamed, but then remembered that not only was Jodi present, but he liked Phil. So yelling wasn't an option right now.

 

Phil's eyes lit up when he spotted Dan there. "Wanted to surprise you."

 

Jodi couldn't have looked more confused. It was really something that was simple to put together, but she looked so dumbstruck for some reason.

 

"Shocked is a better word for it. You didn't even tell me you were looking for work!"

 

"Oops?"

 

" 'Oops' my ass! You are fully aware of what you're doing you spoon!"

 

"I forgot!"

 

"Yeah, alright, and I have a secret third nipple I 'forgot' to tell you about." Dan had his arms crossed now.

He was trying his best not to smile. He was happy that Phil was working with him now, truly. He didn't know what pretending to be annoyed would accomplish, but nonetheless, Phil was still grinning at himself.

 

_"Cheeky little shit."_ Dan figured that this was something he going to be thinking a lot starting now.

 

Jodi cleared her throat; signaling to both of them that she was still there.

 

_"Fuck."_

 

"Well, as I assume, the two of you have met?"

 

"Uh, yeah. Sorry, I didn't think to say." Phil admitted.

 

"No worries, dear. Dan, it's good that you're here. Remember when I asked you the other day about training? Well that time is now." Jodi said this all too fast for Dan.

 

He knew that of course he was going to have to train the new employee, but he had no idea that it would be Phil. He liked him, yes, a whole lot, but this felt almost overwhelming.

 

He does remember, though, that this could count towards getting to know Phil better. Without Emily knowing, of course. He suspects that if she's aware about Phil being hired, then she's already pissed off. It's impossible to understand why Emily doesn't like Phil. She doesn't even know him! It's not that Dan knows him like they've been lifelong friends, or anything, but Phil radiates with positivity. He's a good person, and that's all Dan cares about right now. Phil, and only Phil. He realizes that this makes him sound like a dick friend, but he's tired of the nasty relationships. He loves Emily like a little sister, but he just can't have her and her alone anymore. He needs a boyfriend, and that can't change his friendship with Emily. He won't let that happen.

 

He smiles now, hoping that his new friend can tell that he isn't as annoyed as he was before.

"Yes, Jodi, I remember;" His arms transferred from his chest to his pockets. "Phil, I'm going to put my things away, and then we'll get started."

 

"Sounds good to me." Phil spoke _at_ Dan rather than _to_ him. He seemed to be lost in a trance, and it frankly somehow made him more attractive.

 

Dan did as he said. After putting away his things, he noticed Phil standing alone against the wall waiting for him.

He walked up to Phil, yanking him forward and turned around through the open door.

 

Phil could've waited for Dan by the counter if he wanted to, but seeing him wait near him made Dan's heart fall aflutter.

 

"So when will I get to see that third nipple you mentioned?"

 

Dan's eyes widened. "Jeez! Buy me dinner first! And I _don't_ have a third nipple, I thought you caught on to that."

 

"I did, I was just hoping to get a reaction out of you." Phil's tongue poked out of the side of his mouth. This was a smile that dan could get used to. Hell, he could easily get used to being the reason why Phil smiled in the first place.

 

_"Fucking hell, Lester. You're going to be the death of me."_ He said to himself probably for the millionth time over the course of the week.

 

~~~

 

Dan pretty much went around and showed Phil the basics. As far as he knew, Phil was scheduled for the same work as himself.

 

They continued their normal conversations, occasionally being interrupted by Phil goofing up over his own feet.

 

"Dan, have you ever felt as though no one actually cares?" Phil broke the brief silence after knocking another stack of sheet music ready to be sorted and stalked.

 

"What do mean by that?"

The tension from the question hung between them. It's not like this was an easy subject to just bring up randomly, so he wondered where on Earth it came from so suddenly.

 

"I mean, it feels strange to be working somewhere else. I was with a company for a while, and after some time everybody there just gave up on me." Phil's voice had gone quiet by this. His eyes became softer, as well. He looked as though he was trying to distract himself by stalking product, but Dan saw right through him.

 

"Phil, I don't know exactly all you're getting at, but I can reassure you that you're not the only one to feel like no one cares. I swear that out of all the times I've felt like I wasn't living, I had some sort of backup. You're safe here, mate."

 

Even Dan wasn't entirely sure of his reasoning. He can't even be bothered to get out of bed most mornings because the universe is trying to send signals into his brain about global warming and the illuminati. At this rate he doesn't see himself living past thirty five, due to his unnatural state to lie somewhere, thinking about how the cells in his house plant are helping to provide ways for him to breathe better. Those plants are dying, and if he were to end up staying inside forever, only eating crisps, then sure enough his own plant would eventually die, leading to his death. It's all science. After the rainforests are cut down there will be nothing left to live for anyways.

 

Bringing himself out of his own head, he notices Phil smile after Dan's words. Nearly too late, but it was there, and it made him smile back fondly.

 

Perhaps this was something that was holding up one of Phil's walls. Maybe, there was something in Phil that wanted to break the walls down too.

This was something that Dan could work with.

 

"Thanks, Dan. I appreciate that."

 

They were both quiet for a moment. It could've been the spontaneous "no one likes me" topic that Phil brought up, or the more prominent reason was because Dan was too busy staring at the man next to him. He felt like this was the best timing to breathe everything in.

He watched as Phil's dark jumper move against his neck just slightly. He admired the gentle way Phil fixed his quiff every few minutes. He took in all of his freckles and found himself once again drowning in Phil's eyes. Dan wasn't sure how long he was staring, however, it was long enough for Phil to notice.

 

"You like what you see?" Phil teased, clearly amused to find Dan's mouth agape.

 

_"Shit, I'm screwed."_ Dan let his brain freak out. This was embarrassing to every extent, and it was one of those moments where he could crawl away into a hole and die.

 

"No worries. I think you've got it going for yourself, too. Your face is red, by the way." Apparently, Dan hadn't realized no words came out, thus making Phil say more. Dan hopped he would've said this anyways, however.

 

"Thanks for pointing it out! I had no idea!"

 

"You're welcome! You have my permission to check me out anytime!"

 

"Yeah, shut up."

 

They both ended up in what would've been awkward giggles, although they liked each others company too much for their laughter to be awkward.

 

~~~

 

It's been a few hours since Dan's been home. He took a quick shower, had a few things to eat, and now he's lying in bed texting Phil.

  


**_Dan:_ ** what if I said that you're incorrect

 

**_Phil:_ **and what if I said that it's a fact?

 

**_Dan:_ ** I won't believe it

 

**_Phil:_ **Google is an ultimate resource!

 

**_Dan:_ **Google is a liar

 

**_Phil:_ **your mum is a liar

 

**_Dan:_ **shut up

 

A least two minutes had passed without Phil saying anything. The little bubble to show that he was typing came up a few times, which made Dan's heart jump, but it would just sink back down. He couldn't decide if he had said something rude, or if Phil had enough of his shit. Either way, Dan was anxious and ready to sleep it off, until his phone chimed.

 

**_Phil:_ **hey, dan?

 

_"That's it?"_ Dan was concerned by this. For how long it took Phil to type out and delete a few times, it really made Dan wonder what was up.

 

**_Dan:_ **yeah?

 

**_Phil:_ **I think it's been almost 2 years since I've had a friend as close as you

 

Dan's heart fell. How could someone so amazing not have someone close to them at all?

 

**_Phil:_ **It's only been about a week, but I think you're my best friend

 

Before Dan could even react, his phone chimed thrice.

 

**_Phil:_ ** I hope that's okay for you, I don't want that to be weird or anything

 

**_Phil:_ **I mean, it's been so long since I've gotten along with anyone and you're just understanding

 

**_Phil:_ **shit, I'm sure I already screwed it up

 

Dan was able to exhale slowly. His best friend? He was sure that even Emily hated him. He hated himself most of the time, so why would he be friend material? Not to mention with the way things were headed with their constant flirting, _boyfriend_ material could potentially be on that list.

 

Dan wasn't stupid. He knew that this was going to be hard when he didn't even have enough of his own confidence. But, he had to help Phil let his walls down as well as his own. He saw himself with Phil, and he wanted to let him in. He wanted Phil to know the things he cried himself to sleep for. He wanted him to know why he sometimes has hard days. He wanted to tell him the reasons why he thought he was broken. The reasons that not even Emily knew.

 

This scared him to absolutely no end. You can't just tell someone you hardly know you're whole life story. He felt like he _needed_ to with Phil, though. He trusts him, and can tell that he is, or will be following what _Trapeze_ is telling him.

 

Dia Frampton's words are playing out in Dan's head, now.

The world is scary, and there may be things that he never says, but for the time being, he gives in and shoots Phil his last text for the night.

 

**_Dan:_ **okay. Thank you, phil, for telling me this. I think I'm headed the same way, and I'm hoping you'll stick around for awhile :)

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well, this one was interesting. I have zero idea what to do for the next one, so don't be surprised if chapter 6 is up late


	6. six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh! I'm so sorry this chapter took me so long! I had a really hard time writing this one, but luckily I think it turned out all right. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this one!

Phil can't seem to stop the hammering in his chest. 

 

It has been a full week since he started up work again. After some drama was settled between Dan and Emily, Phil finally plucked up the courage to ask Dan to dinner.

 

It's not like Dan had constantly teased him about asking, or anything, he asked because it was good for him to step out of his comfort zone. 

That is what he would tell anyone who asked about it, because he was just really damn nervous and liked Dan a lot.

 

Dan was good at persuading Phil for this date. Phil would've said yes in half a heartbeat had Dan came to him instead, however he just had to go and mess with Phil's head long enough for him to do the asking.

 

There was no way in hell he knew what he was doing. 

 

Dinner was in about two hours, and Phil had been completely ready to go for the last forty minutes. They weren't going anywhere extremely fancy, nor some shithole, so Phil dressed accordingly - in a button down shirt and some dark jeans.

 

Phil had said he would pick Dan up around 8 o'clock, but he was wondering if perhaps he could ask to leave early? Not that he needed to, though. He could take the longer way there and still end up at Dan's door on time.

 

"Screw it." He said aloud, brushing his hands on his thighs as he did so. He got up, checked his hair for the umpteenth time, grabbed his things, and he was out the door for a coffee. He would need the boost. Hopefully the caffeine would calm him down, and not the other way around.

 

Out the building and down the street, he realized he forgot his earbuds on his desk. What a perfectly boring walk this would be for him. 

 

The minutes roll by, and he notices that although the hustle is overwhelming, it's nice to enjoy the scenery. The girl walking her dog, two gentlemen arguing, and the birds singing in the trees. Shit looking birds at that, but nonetheless, they were singing. Maybe Phil had his music after all.

 

Upon arriving at his destination, he finds himself wishing he had scheduled his date with Dan sooner. His nerves were skyrocketing from anticipation. It also wasn't helping him any that being here reminded him of last time; when Dan oh so rudely tried to claim that Phil stole his table. That memory made him grin. 

 

Before he even was aware of it, he had ordered his coffee and was sitting at the said table from his thoughts. He must've been too far into thinking.

 

He pulls out his phone to pass time; after burning his tongue on his drink, forgetting once again that he needs to let it cool.

 

~~~

 

Phil has somehow managed to keep himself distracted at the coffee shop. He's about ten minutes away from Dan's flat now, with an empty cup in hand. He had no idea how his restlessness held still and patience stayed long enough, but he did it, and his nerves have dispersed, turning into excitement. Caffeine has nothing to do with it. He feels an unexplainable urge to go dancing, but knowing his luck, he'd fall ass first before the song even started playing. Taking Dan down with him, too, because that's just how things tend to work out for him. Embarrassing.

 

Shaking all the negative energy from his head, he walks up the steps to where Dan is. He does shoot him a text first, making sure Dan is ready for Phil to even be at his flat. He is a little early, as somewhat predicted, but only by five minutes. 

 

He bound up the stairs, losing his way around the floor he's on looking for Dan's flat number. He reaches the door at last, and just before he knocks he can hear not-so-kind words come from inside.

The door opens to reveal a dazed, yet angry man with long blond hair, as well as Dan behind him, seemingly angrier.

 

"And if you ever try this shit again you better be well prepared for me to take unnecessary measures!" Dan looked like he was ready to curse up a storm. However, when his eyes found Phil's, his face went white.

 

"Fuck."

 

"Oh? An' who this? Another fuck buddy?" The blond jabbed Phil hard in the chest with a bony finger. 

 

"Don't you  _ fucking _ touch him, Derek! Now  _ leave _ !" Dan pushed the Derek guy away from Phil quite violently, pulling Phil towards him in the process. He honestly looked like he was going to cry, and Phil really couldn't blame him. Whatever the situation, it wasn't a pretty one.

 

Dan closed the door once they were both inside, locking it. Phil supposed this was for good measure. He watched Dan slump to the door, defeated. It was only now that Phil saw that Dan was only half dressed in black jeans similar to his, hadn't it been for the purposeful rips.

He was out of breath. His face was a pale color, but his chest was a dark pink. His body shone with frustration and sadness. 

 

With Dan slouched over his knees, breathing deeply, Phil couldn't help but feel even more attracted, and it was pathetic. This man had obviously not had the best evening, and here Phil was not knowing what else to do. Besides pushing his feelings aside until Dan was doing better.

 

Phil crouched beside him, tense, but letting the tension slip off his shoulders quickly. "You okay?"

 

Dan smiled a tad. "That's my dumbass neighbor." He tilted his head up. "We can discuss him later. Right now," He stood, making Phil's eyes follow him faster than he was able to make his feet follow. "We've got a lovely date planned." 

 

Dan made his way around his long couch, picking up a shirt that was sitting neatly on the cushion. A black and white striped long sleeve.

 

Phil thought his shoes were quite interesting for now. The moment that they stood up, Phil remembered that Dan was indeed shirtless. He did look really good without a shirt, Phil had to admit, but it was widely inappropriate to stare. 

 

Dan walked around the living room, gathering his things, not saying all that much. Although, speaking more than Phil. He let his eyes wander more now. Dan's flat was a lot like his own. Bit different coloring and furniture style, but other than that, the things they had in common were accurate. Dan's movie and game collection in the corner is probably what made him happiest. 

 

They were out the door and down the stairs sooner than Phil even blinked. Outside is when Dan spoke up.

 

"You've been a little quiet." Dan gestured.

 

"Just thinkin' a bit." 

 

Dan sighed quietly. "Look, if it's about my neighbor, don't bother. He's high as a kite. I don't want to think about the argument. I'd rather go have a good time with you." He grabbed Phil's hand and these words.

 

This made Phil smile. He was, in fact, thinking about the guy called Derek. The way Dan looked after they got back inside really  _ did _ bother him. However, if Dan didn't want to talk about it, then he wouldn't pry. 

In response, he only squeezed Dan's hand lightly.

 

~~~

 

They made it to the restaurant quickly. A semi decent place called  _ Blue _ . At this point, holding hands the entire time was a given. Before there was anytime to really think, they were already sitting down in an interesting booth.

 

To Phil, the whole place gave off a huge vibe that screamed “I am a gay bar”. However, considering there wasn’t any space in the room to treat the place like a gay bar, it certainly had the atmosphere of a night neither of them were ready for together, single, or “it’s complicated”.

 

The booth they had sat in didn’t  _ look  _ as though it had been cleaned, but much rather,  _ smelled  _ like it hadn’t.

 

“Suppose they’d make it smell nice.” Dan grunted frustratingly.

 

“Yeah, you’d think so. Reckon it’s been a few years since this area was cleaned. 

 

Dan hummed in agreement, smiling as their waitress brought them menus. Phil wasn’t sure if the smile was meant for him, or for the waitress, but all the same it made him feel good to see Dan smile at all.

 

“Good music, though.” 

 

It was Phil’s turn to nod and hum along. He went from really nervous, to confident, to nervous again. Taking a moment to listen to what was actually playing, he could faintly hear a band that he hadn’t listened to in years.

 

“ _ The Hush Sound _ ?” He chuckled. “You like them? I haven’t heard their music in ages! Let alone in a restaurant.” Phil’s face lit up, excited to find more conversation after his confidence died. 

 

“They’re okay. Overall, they aren’t my favorite, but I like to listen to them when I feel like another one bites the dust.” 

 

“That’s what  _ Queen  _ is for.”

 

“Oh, fuck off! Of course you would say that!” Dan threw his head back laughing, making the feeling contagious. 

 

“What can I say? Puns make great conversation!”

 

“Does that even count?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

Dan shook his head, trying not to laugh much louder than they were already being. 

The energy was less tense now, and things felt more open than they had been when Phil showed up to get Dan.

 

Soon enough, they had ordered, and it came around in a giffy. Dan got something Phil couldn’t pronounce correctly, while Phil stuck with an over priced burger. 

 

Unfortunately, the two were too invested to talk much after the food arrived. Casual banter about the newest episode of the show they were watching was about all they managed to get in.

 

Obviously, this came as a disappointment to Phil. Starting a new subject was never easy for him, and Dan with his stupid attractive face made speech harder.

 

~~~

 

It has been a few minutes without saying much. Phil was in a trance. Seemingly, staring at the table without saying anything is worrisome.

 

Dan startled Phil when he touched his knee ever so gently under the table. “You alright?”

 

The calming voice brought him back to reality.

 

A good thing. Phil wasn’t sure if he wanted to get lost in the idea that Dan could have ever been with someone scary. That is most certainly where is head was, and he didn’t like it. He liked Dan, and not the thought of him with bad people. He honestly was stunned at himself for even getting so caught up in something so crazy whilst on a date.

 

“M’ fine. Thanks for asking.” Phil grinned softly. 

 

Dan found Phil’s hand, having to lean forward only a little bit take his fingers. “Phil, I haven’t known you for all too long, but I can mostly tell when something’s bothering you.”

 

Phil looked up unsuredly. “Dan, this sounds crazy, but what bad relationships have you been in?” 

 

Dan only squeezed Phil’s fingers.

 

A few moments passed without Dan, nor Phil saying anything at all. Phil’s heart was racing from the silence, but with such a sudden question, how was he not supposed to take a while to think about it? 

 

_ “Crap, I screwed up.”  _ Phil’s head was working faster than his heart. If that was even possible.

 

“Phil,” Dan nervously cleared his throat. “After we leave here, let’s take a walk like we did that one night. We haven’t talked enough here.” Dan finally finished his slow paced sentence. 

 

“I’m sorry, Dan. That was too sudden and personal. I shouldn’t have asked. At least not at this point of knowing you,” Phil started talking very quickly. It was almost unintelligible.

 

“Phil,” Dan interrupted. “Phil, I don’t really mind answering, just, not here. I’d like to think about how to approach it.” He chuckled, running his thumb over Phil’s hand.

 

Bad moves, or really good ones in Dan’s case, make Phil’s face flush.

 

“Okay.”

 

~~~

 

Phil lead the way outside of the restaurant. The following conversation after Phil’s embarrassing moment, was quite pleasant. They talked about how their families made or break them in certain ways, conspiracy theories (ironically), and what type of dog they’d get if their apartments allowed them. 

 

The night air was cold and refreshing. The sky was cloudy, but it was only just enough to let the stars peak through. Perfect for yet another romantic stroll. But this time, the feeling was much more personal. Although it was cold and slightly cloudy, the wind held still. It made the adrenaline race through Phil’s veins. Pure euphoria moment. 

 

“Wow, someone seems happier.” Dan purposely bumped Phil’s shoulder with his own. 

 

Phil tilted his head briefly enough to show him Dan’s “I’m just as happy as you are right now, but I probably wouldn’t say it out loud to you” face. 

 

Exactly like last time, Dan’s eyes glistened more under the moon rather than anywhere else. Sure, blue eyes are often something described as an ocean, but Dan’s eyes were more than just brown. When the sun hit them just right through the window at the music shop, they shone like a deep fire. To anyone else, they wouldn’t be able to find the specks of lighter shades of brown that looked like gold. Whenever Dan starred out of the said window during the evening hours, Phil must’ve been the only person to notice this.

 

He made a mental note to stop staring so intensely.

 

The moonlight, was completely different to comparing color. It was like all the color left from his irises in the dark. Then, standing just right, they looked normal. Normal in such a good way. They went from soulless in the dark, to gaining back it’s most beautiful brown, flashed by moonbeam.

 

Absolutely stunning. Really freaking gorgeous. Phil didn’t have any idea what words there were to describe the man next to him.

“Phil, you’re staring.”

 

Phil’s life seemed to stop. Since when was he staring at Dan? Why did this keep happening to him today? In his head he was safe talking to himself, but in reality he was ordering a coffee, and all the while forgot to come back to his senses. 

 

“Oh shit. Fuck, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize.” 

 

Dan only smiled. “I must be too damn attractive.”

 

“Yeah, well, don’t be getting a big head over it.” 

 

“Oh? So I am attractive?”

 

_ “Oh please. You have looks of a God.”   _ Phil thought.

 

“Well, if you weren’t, I wouldn’t have asked you out.”

 

_ “Don’t take that seriously, I love everything about you already.”   _ Yet another hope composed in Phil’s head. If that really were taken seriously, he would suspect Dan would continue on to think of him as a stuck up prick.

 

“That’s hurtful.” The smile on Dan’s face was evident. Good.

 

They’ve been walking for a while now. Not having a destination made things more exciting. It was also pretty clear that neither one of them were ready to call the night quits.

 

Phil was still leading the way, and without having anywhere specific to go, he took Dan to a small park, lit by small grass lamps along the gravel pathways. 

 

“You remember the question you asked me back at the restaurant?” Dan asked, bumping the back of his hand against Phil’s palm. 

 

Phil took his hand, letting it swing in between them. “How could I forget?” It was only the most embarrassing thing that could have exited his mouth.

 

They followed one of the dimly lit paths to a black bench. The metal colder than the night air itself, practically forced them to sit as close together as possible.

Which was another lie he would tell if asked. He really just wanted to feel Dan’s warmth next to him. Now that they weren’t walking, the chill would bound to feel colder than it had.

 

“Sometimes, things aren’t always what we mean for them to be.” Dan spoke. 

“Sometimes, we do things we aren’t proud of, and sometimes those things teach us what  _ not  _ to do later.” He let out a shaky breath.

“And sometimes, those things teach us something that we aren’t. A lot of the times, I feel like I’m not a good person. There are days when I truly can’t believe that I’m still functioning properly. Psychically, at least.” He smirked at the last part.

“For a few years of my teens, I dated a girl who was my everything. I spent so much of my time admiring her, that I never realized how fucked up she really was. I always tried to give her the benefit of the doubt. She had a lot of family issues, as well as some untreated anger. Anyways; we ended up going to a party one night. This girl, had been my first, unfortunately. Not at this party, ugh, how awful.” 

 

Dan paused. It happened to be a hard conversation, and Phil understood that when he first asked, however, at the time he wasn’t thinking at all. Phil squeezed his hand in hopes this would comfort him again. 

 

“Some dipshit decided to bring alcohol. And, well, you know teens. They can’t control themselves around it. Long story short, I got hit. A lot. By a dead drunk girlfriend. She ended up getting kicked out, and I ended up in tears, making out with some chick’s boyfriend. He broke things off with the one girl he was dating, and maybe only a few days later, we.. hit things off. If you get what I mean.” 

 

Phil knew all too well what Dan meant. He spent the majority of his teen years doing all sorts of shit he wished he hadn't. It wasn’t like Dan was giving Phil his whole life story, but he knew enough to understand what Dan was getting at.

 

“I don’t mean to interrupt, but is it cliche? Every person you dated fucked you over?” 

 

Dan merely nodded.

 

“You don’t have to explain anymore than what you already have, Dan. I understand. Maybe not in the way that you feel, but I do get the idea.” Phil tried his very best to keep his voice calm and steady.

 

“I have such bad trust issues, Phil.” Dan’s voice started to break. And man, did this affect Phil in a way he didn’t know was possible. Dan crying? It shattered his heart.

 

Phil wrapped his arms around Dan’s shoulder’s, having to let go of his hand in order to do so.

 

“Hey, hey now;” He was doing is best to be a comfort. ‘It’s alright. You’re not that kind of person now, right? You watch out for yourself, yeah?” 

 

Dan agreed by letting out a small sob. 

 

“Alright, so that settles it. Trust issues or not, you still have people by you who are good to you.” Phil was worried that what he was saying wouldn’t make any sense.

 

“You comfort me, Phil.”

 

That definitely took Phil by surprise. Although, Dan was still crying, so it really was perfect to hide his face. 

 

“Dan, do you know  _ Old Fashioned _ ? The song by  _ Panic! At The Disco _ ?” 

 

He nodded against Phil’s shoulder.

 

“I like to think that the song says that even though our past can either be really great, or really horrible, but right now we gotta live in the moment.”

 

Dan laughed a little. Still muffled by Phil’s jacket. “I’m not sure that the song isn’t just about alcohol.” 

 

“Well let’s pretend that it is what I said; even if it’s not.” Phil pulled away from Dan at this. Dan’s spirits were somewhat lifted, and it made Phil feel better as well.

 

“Fuck, Phil, you’re so amazing.”

 

Before there was even time to react, Dan had pulled Phil’s face to his with cold hands, smashing their lips together. 

 

Dan’s face was still wet from all his tears, but that didn’t stop Phil from leaning into him. 

 

It wasn’t awkward at all; like how Phil had imagined it about a thousand times. No. He let himself fall into the kiss. This felt so special. He wasn’t sure what made it that way, but he didn’t care. Dan kissed him. He was kissing Dan.

 

When Dan finally pulled away, Phil couldn’t have been more in agony. It probably lasted a good few minutes, but it felt like nothing. He just wanted Dan’s lips back against his.

 

It felt like  _ Old Fashioned _ , but not quite in the way Phil had described it to Dan.

 

It was new, yet reminiscent of small kisses he’s had before. However, those kisses were  _ nothing  _ compared to the one kiss with Dan.

 

His old relationships gave vodka kisses. Something that always started off strong, and got you drunk way too quickly.

He could tell from just the one that Dan gave cocktail kisses. Starting off mildly sweet, and eventually turned into something strong enough that after too many would get you drunk.

Phil was glad that he wouldn’t get drunk off of Dan right away, but he just couldn’t wait until he had too many. Not that Dan kissing him could  _ ever _ be too many, but he wanted it all then.

After all, during these last two or so weeks, Dan seemed to be Phil’s  _ best of times. _


	7. seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so so so sorry that this is nearly 3 months late!!! I have been crazy busy, as well as had the WORST case of writers block. This chapter isn't very long, and kinda messy, but I promise the next few will be better, and hopefully won't take me 3 months. Anyways, I hope you enjoy. Come say hi to me on tumblr! @iamemotrashdotcom

"You did WHAT?" Emily screamed. Why on Earth couldn't she just be happy for Dan in this situation? He thought that a best friend would be happy for him no matter the person. It just sucked. The whole thing could just go to hell. 

 

Well, except for the part where he kissed Phil. And, all of Phil. He really didn't want Phil to go to hell. At least not yet.

 

"Emily, I kissed him! I don't see the big deal! He's a good guy!" Dan argued back. It's not like it helped anything, but he was sure it wouldn't do anything. He could make the two of them date instead, and it still wouldn't change Emily's mind. 

 

Emily was pacing around Dan's lounge. She had enough anger in her eyes that could set something on fire, if given the opportunity.

 

"Dan, I can't believe you would go against better judgement here!" Emily pinched the bridge of her nose; along with letting her other arm hang loosely around the opposite hip.

 

"What do you mean better judgement? Emily, I know you don't like him, but I have no clue what 'going against better judgement' means when he hasn't done anything!" Dan gestured wildly towards Emily. His oversized jumper was hanging off of his shoulder. This would've been done on purpose to be seductive normally, however in this situation, he was fighting with Emily. Again. Certainly not what he would call seductive in the least.

 

"I swear, Daniel you can't see how badly you're going to get hurt!" Emily's mid-thigh skirt swayed with every exaggerated moment.

 

"When was the last time  _ I've _ gotten hurt? I'm usually the one to end things! Most of the time it's because they're too dim!" Dan crossed his arms for what might've been the billionth time. He was so ready for this conversation to be over.

 

"If this is about Derek again, I've told you I'm sorry!" 

 

"Why the fuck would you say that, Em? He's awful, you know this. That wasn't what I was implying in the first place!" Dan could feel his insides boiling. How dare she bring him up? After the other night when he came over to confront Dan, it cost him a fucking panic attack. Emily knew this, so why the hell is it important now?

 

"Phil isn't meant for you! Every time you're with a boy, something goes wrong. They don't work!  _ This _ doesn't work!" 

 

Dan's heart was racing.

 

_ "How insensitive can you possibly be?"  _ He thought. His best friend, whom has never cared about his sexuality, insulted him in the worst way he's ever known. It was disgusting. 

 

Emily's face went from very pink, to white in a split second. "Dan, that isn't what I meant." Her words were quick, but the ones said previously had already left their mark.

 

"Emily, I think you should leave-" He didn't get to finish his thought.

 

"No! Dan, listen to me!"

 

Dan had made it to the couch to get her purse. His best friend was being ignorant in his home, and he really wasn't in the mood. He had spent too long trying to make things better, and it wasn't going to be ruined in one night.

 

He gently guided Emily by her arm to the door, placing her purse on her shoulder. "Emily, please leave." 

 

"Dan,"

 

Unintentionally, he raised his voice again. "Look, Em. I don't know what you're problem is with Phil, or with gays, or with me, but whatever it is, you need to get it sorted out, because I am not going to have any of it!" He stepped backwards, sitting his butt on the back of the couch.

 

"My problem?" Emily's eyes started to get watery. Great. Dan had always been a softy for the waterworks, and Emily knew this. "My problem Dan, is maybe, maybe I don't want to share you." And with that, Emily turned around abruptly, storming out the door.

 

It hurt. Not just his feelings, but everything physically hurt. He had been too tense, and now the best thing for him would be to sit down and mull things over. 

 

_ "How dare she?"  _ Talking aloud was more than exhausting.  _ "How fucking dare she tell me how I'm supposed to feel? Unbelievable."  _

 

Dan could feel the weight of his eyelids trying to force sleep while slouching about being angry. Overall, the mixed emotions were giving him a headache. He thought best, although still early, a nap would help clear his thoughts. If anything, stall his feelings. He didn't need this. He felt as though he had finally went through enough shit. That Phil was finally what was helping him step away from his demons. Even if just temporary for now.

 

It didn't take long for Dan to fall asleep in the most uncomfortable position, but he didn't care. Phil was on his mind now. As angry as he was at Emily, he set it aside long enough to rest.

 

~~~

 

Dan awoke very suddenly due to his phone ringing quite loudly.

 

He lent to the side of him, grabbing his phone and making his back pop uncomfortably in the process. 

 

Checking the caller ID, he thanked whatever God available that it was Phil calling, and not Emily. Or Heaven forbid someone worse. 

 

"Hello? Phil?" He asked, excited to hear the voice on the other end. 

 

_ "Hey. Dan. This might sound awkward, but would you mind if I paid you a visit? I need to get out."  _

 

Dan was right. He couldn't tell what kind of emotion was behind Phil's voice, but in any case, it was melodic. 

 

"Sure. I believe I'm available whenever you are." 

 

_ "Right. I'll head over soon then?" _

 

"Perfect." 

 

_ "See you soon, Dan." _

 

"See you soon, Phil." And with that, Dan was grinning like a kid on Christmas. He seemed to do this a lot recently. The grinning part made his cheeks hurt occasionally, but it was always worth it. Phil's company was worth anything.

 

Dan stood, regretting it before the action was even complete. His neck screamed in pain, as well as having his lower back feel sore. 

 

He spent a total of twenty minutes stretching out every last one of his back muscles. It was very reminiscent of yoga, which was certainly not his favorite pastime. At least it helped clear up some of the pain. He thought that if all of this stretching relieves stress and tension, then maybe he'd just have to take up a yoga class.

 

That, or eat less crisps. 

 

These thoughts passed when he heard a knock on his door. Phil.

 

When he answered the door, the smile on his face deflated. 

 

"Phil, what's wrong?" 

 

Phil burst into tears, flinging himself onto Dan once the door was open enough.

 

"Phil?"

 

Still no answer. Dan could barely get the door closed before Phil had pulled him into a deep and longing kiss.

 

" 'M sorry. I've been really stressed out, and on top of it I've missed you." Phil mumbled all of this against Dan's cheek.

 

"Why? What happened?" Dan rubbed circles into Phil's back. Partially consoling him, and partially trying not to show that he very obviously blushed at the "I missed you" part. 

 

Phil's tears tickled the back of Dan's neck, but he stood perfectly still in an effort to figure out what was wrong.

 

"It's my shit excuses," Phil paused briefly; sighing. "I haven't told my family I've started seeing someone new. I didn't think it was a good time yet. Anyway, an old... partner of mine is in town, and I guess my mum believes I'm lonely. She's invited them to a dinner, and I have no choice but to face them now.

 

Phil was still hanging loosely around Dan. Dan could feel his heartbeat slow down. The tears were drying, but the poor guy was still sniffling. 

 

"When is the dinner?" Dan asked, not really knowing what to say.

 

"End of the week. I think it's Sunday. Dan, I don't know what to do."

 

"Yeah, me neither. Not really about your dinner, I have an idea. But I don't know what to do about Emily."

 

Phil finally pulled away to look at Dan. Despite a look of despair hidden behind the eyes, he seemed quite puzzled by this. 

 

"Let's sit down, yeah? I'll explain." Dan took by Phil by the hand, letting them both relax a little. 

 

It took roughly ten minutes for Dan to spill his heart out. Phil reacted in all the right spots, along with being Dan's best comfort right now. No matter how over detailed Dan felt he made things, it was great to have someone who sat and listened. 

 

After he finished, there was at least a five minute period of silence. Five strange minutes.

 

"I'm so sorry, Dan. She can visit us in Hell." Phil said this under his breath. It wasn't clear which emotions were being felt. Possibly disgust. 

 

Dan huffed a small laugh. "Yeah, perhaps. Perhaps we'll be the ones visiting her, instead."

 

"Why's that?"

 

"Because homosexuals don't go to Hell, homophobes do."

 

Dan could see Phil playfully roll his eyes at this. "Dan, homosexuality is a sin, remember? If we aren't going to Hell, and we aren't going to Heaven, where do we go?"

 

"Where we all go. Purgatory. It's like bisexual Heaven. Or Hell. However you want to look at it. Your stuck in the middle. Haven't picked a side because you have both." 

 

"But you're not bi, you're gay? Right?" Phil asked gently.

 

"Yeah. I suppose we could call it queer, instead of bi Heaven."

 

"That's fitting. Queeratory."

 

They both sat in a fit of laughter. It was such a strange conversation, yet it felt so good for Dan to laugh. So damn good.

 

"Phil! You can't call it 'Queeratory' ! " Dan squealed. He had sat up a bit straighter to nudge Phil in the shoulder. 

 

Phil's tounge poked out of his mouth through his smile. "And why not? You called it bi Heaven first. Neither of us are bi! We would be lost in darkness forever if it was called bi Heaven!"

 

"Ahh, a dark paradise! Just perfect for the queer emos!"

 

"Dan!"

 

"Phil!" He mimicked the beauty next to him and only prayed they wouldn't end up in Queeratory anytime soon. That is, as long as Phil stuck around. 

 

Phil turned to face him properly. “So Dan? You said you had an idea for my Mum’s dinner?”

 

Dan really didn’t have a great idea. It was more of just something to say to make Phil feel better for the time being. His best idea was to tell everyone that they were an item, however he and Phil haven’t had a real conversation about it. They had agreed that they were dating, yet they hadn’t discussed further titles. Dan really didn’t want to mess anything up by pretending. The whole thing was more or less ridiculous. He decided to bite the bullet.

 

“Phil, what are we? I mean we’ve hardly discussed  titles and I know it isn’t that big of a deal, and I understand that labels aren’t important, I would just like to know what you feel.” He said all of this very quickly. It wasn’t something he was all that familiar with, so it was hard to picture how Phil would respond. His nerves really just got the best of him.

 

Phil only grinned. “That was your idea?” He gave a short laugh. “Dan, I’m comfortable with whatever title or label you want us to share. If you want to go by partners, boyfriends, or even go without a label I’m alright with it. As long as you’re okay with us together.” 

 

That was all Dan needed to hear. That was all the confidence boost he needed to come up with a better idea to help Phil survive his mum’s dinner party. That was just what he needed to talk with Emily. Not recently, but soon.

 

“I really like that,” Phil grabbed his hand at this. It was nice, Dan thought. All of it. It was also at this moment that Dan remembered Phil had totally kissed him again this morning. He had to stop his face from going pink.

 

_ “What an interesting day it’s turning out to be.” _

 

"Give me your phone, Phil, I'm calling your mother."

 

~~~

 

After a near tickle fight and a phone call later, Dan managed to call Phil's mum. It was an odd experience, but he found it best if he had said something, versus watching Phil screw it up and upsetting himself again. It was awkward at first, but he seemed to think she understood not to make the relationship topic a big deal. What a miracle. 

 

_ "If only Emily were this understanding."  _ He kept thinking negative. Surely this kind of attitude wouldn't get them anywhere, but Dan couldn't help but want to treat things petty. She was being a bitch, and it needed to stop. Or at the very least she needed to tone it down by a lifetime.

 

"You're thinking about Emily again, aren't you?" Phil asked.

 

"She's my best friend, Phil. The first to actually care about me in a long time. It's hard to just shrug off something like this." Dan was back into a slouching position with one foot on the coffee table, and the other tucked underneath his bum. It looked quite odd, but Dan seemed it comfortable, so he didn't care.

 

"I've got to talk it out with her."  Dan sighed.

 

Phil propped up both of his legs on the table. "You don't have to now, Dan. You can wait until things have cooled down, yeah?" 

 

"Yeah, I suppose." Dan adjusted himself so that his head was in Phil's lap.

 

 It was a lovely feeling. The room felt quiet. There was so much to ponder, and so much to work out that Dan simply wanted nothing to do with it anymore. He could just lay here with Phil forever and content with his fucked up demons. 

 

His demons today seemed to be singing. It was quite obnoxious, to be frank. They were singing such pretty songs. Such dark, yet beautiful songs written by  _ Lana Del Rey.  _

The particular song circling his brain was  _ Dark Paradise.  _

 

As stupid as it sounded, he could really feel the lyrics right now. When he was with Phil, it felt like paradise. When he was thinking about what Emily said, a darkness washed over him. 

 

He chuckled aloud at this.

 

"What's so funny?" Phil asked curiously. 

 

"Are you familiar with  _ Lana Del Rey _ ?" 

 

Phil hummed gently in response.

 

"Dark Paradise is stuck in my head, and I think it's quite fitting for my shitty life."

 

"Wow, I can't believe you think I'm shitty." 

 

"Shut up, you know what I mean." 

 

Phil's grin grew. "You think you live in a dark paradise, then?"

 

"Oh, I know I do."

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi to me on tumblr!  
> @iamemotrashdotcom 
> 
> Hopefully I'll see you guys on Wednesday!


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